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Seattle #22: The honeymoon period – will it last?

23/2/2018

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It took 9 months to settle into Tokyo. I was struggling in almost every way, culturally, socially, in practical ways, financially, and then I had to go home for a funeral. People in Australia at the time would ask how my move to Japan was going, and I would answer honestly - not well, I'm not happy there, but I'm definitely going back because I am determined to have made it worth it. It was a turning point for me, and by the time I left Japan at the end of that year, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. But I knew I was leaving at the peak, as many expats hit their 2 year anniversary in Japan and become miserable. Those who stay longer are generally fine, but sometimes you’d meet embittered long-timer expat (or, *ghasp*, immigrant). I understood their grouchiness by a thousand frustrations, from the constant reminders that you’ll never be considered one of the Japanese, the spectacular bureaucracy and the toxic corporate culture – it just hadn’t gotten to me yet. I like to think I made the right decision leaving when I did.

Hanoi was different, and I instantly had a lot of fun there, but I definitely think the cycle is much shorter there. Quicker honeymoon period, but it will wear thin on you much quicker. I quite enjoyed one small book by a jaded expat.

Edinburgh was similar to Japan, probably owing to the fact that I moved there in Autumn, just as events where one can make friends are winding down, but the following spring my social life and happiness blossomed, and did so permanently.

It took 5 months to find my happiness in Seattle. I have a wonderful home, social circles, and I’m even the fittest I have been since I was a teenager, but I wonder if this is my new normal level of happiness, or just the honeymoon period and I'll turn into a grizzled expat or immigrant like in Japan. I don’t think it’s the same here because the culture is less alien and the cons are very different. Unhealthy food, violence, and expensive healthcare are the first cons that come to my mind, not monoculture, toxic work culture and impermeable social barriers. Furthermore, this is my fifth country I have lived in in five years. I learned every place has its pros and cons, and I have the experience that allows me to truly appreciate the great things here.
Whether this is my home for a couple decades , or the rest of my days, I think I’ll be very happy here.
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    About this blog

    Musings, frustrations and wonderment from an Australian who moved to the US having never visited the country before. 

    ​This is the fifth country I have lived in in five years, and if I've learned one thing, it's that every place has its pros and cons.
    ​Published Fridays.

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